A Glimpse Beyond The Blindness To The Mental Struggles Beneath

This photo depicts a turbulent ocean breaking over rocks. Waves crash in all directions, and sea foam sprays. The water is blue and teal in color, darkening toward the image’s foreground. Ominous gray clouds fill the sky in the top left corner.

As I begin to feel out this blog once more, I realize I want to give you readers here a glimpse into who I am beyond the blindness. While I do plan to do this with YouTube videos as well, some things can’t be scheduled, and today’s experience was one of them.

Meet anxiety. A constant companion, if not a steadfast friend.

The medication I take to forestall this turbulent ocean of emotion from taking over my mind isn’t safe for Young Sir to be exposed to, and therefore, I’ve abandoned taking it on doctor’s orders. The end result is a mind existing upon a foundation of quicksand.

Anxiety was my name today. Anxiety was my breath. Anxiety was my lover, embracing me and luring me into its destructive arms against all better judgement. Anxiety is like falling in love with the wrong person: a relentless descent into something beyond one’s control without any idea how to stop it from taking all and leaving nothing.

Anxiety fed upon my inability to find anywhere for covid testing before my travel today. All the sites I searched are either #inaccessible, claim their tests have no garunteed turn around time, or don’t offer information on how those tests will be delivered. Nobody is answering their phones. Everywhere wants an appointment I can’t be certain will be of any use to me. I have strictures I need to follow in order to leave this country, and it feels like none of the places that are supposed to care do. It feels like one enormous circus with me as a monkey being forced to cartwheel through hoops for a simple result.

I feel stonewalled, trapped, and like I’m not going to be able to visit my Rosie in Germany at the end of the month. Around here, this process has been made virtually impossible, and I cannot afford to pay a Lyft driver to ferry me around until I find somewhere that will provide me with straight answers. I am at a loss and do not know what to do anymore.

I cannot find the right in this today, my Treasures. I cannot find the halo. I can only see the rough seas and ominous clouds.

Maybe everything is right about just being human.

I just wish it felt right instead of fifty shades of wrong.

Such are the struggles of one suffering from the insideous disorder of anxiety. There are days when it is easy to beat back. I’ve made so much progress in my thinking since I last posted regularly.

And then there are days such as this, when I unveil my vulnerabilities to show you that I’m just a woman. I’m blind, I struggle with anxiety, and little issues can turn into raging oceans I don’t know how to tame. And that’s okay. Every challenge seeks to teach us something. I’m not sure what the lesson in this struggle is yet, but I’m glad I can find out with Treasures like you supporting the journey.

Video: 100 Tips On Interacting With A blind Person [Part 1]

My Treasures, it has been quite a long break from you all. Covid hit, life got crazy, and no more writing or filming was happening.

It’s been a while since I’ve written to you, I know, but I did enjoy posting my videos here so you could all see I was still around. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to get into writing again. I’m slowly slipping back into the public eye and taking it easy.

For now, please accept my first video in over a year and a half. I filmed this to celebrate reaching 100 YouTube subscribers, and it’s been cut into two parts.

Please watch and enjoy. If you find any value in what you see, I invite you to like, comment and subscribe!

I love and have missed each and every one of you for being so steadfast, and I hope you are all staying safe during this time that remains so trying for us all.

100 Tips On Interacting With A Blind Person [Part 1]

Video: What Is A Technology Assessment And Why Did I Need Mine?

✌️ My video editing program finally surrendered the file! Better late than never!

Join me, my beautiful Treasures, as I speak of my most recent technology assessment and take you along for some very brief glimpses of the out and about aspects of it.

Now, as it is exactly 12:03AM and I’ve been fighting with this video since before noon, goodnight, my lovelies.

Please like, comment, subscribe and ring that notification bell!

Watch It Here!

<a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGUkIwIq8HEtRzyuNyCTW3A“>Subscribe to me on
Youtube!

Remember, if you have any questions or requests for future posts / podcasts / videos, please feel free to tell me either by using this site’s <a href="http://www.sirenarayleetalind.com/contact“>contact form, by sending me an email at
SirenaRayLind@gmail.com,, by mentioning me on <a href="http://www.twitter.com/sirenarayleeta“>Twitter with the hashtag #TalkAboutItRena or by DM’ing me on
<a href="http://www.instagram.com/sirenarayleetalind“>Instagram.

If you read many blogs from different blogging platforms on Bloglovin, please feel free to <a href="http://www.bloglovin.com/sirenarayleetalind“>add mine as
well!

Until next time, my \Treasures, I bid you a fond adieu.

Video: Twenty Things I wish I Could See

Sirena stands before a metal railing. With her dark hair braided, one hand shades her eyes as she squints into the distance as if trying to see something.

I am blind. I accept this fact wholeheartedly. But there are still those things I wish I could visually appreciate. The world is filled with wonders both large and small. Here are twenty I wish I could see.

Please like, comment, subscribe and ring that notification bell!

Watch It Here!

Subscribe to me on Youtube!

Remember, if you have any questions or requests for future posts / podcasts / videos, please feel free to tell me either by using this site’s contact form, by sending me an email at SirenaRayLind@gmail.com,, by mentioning me on Twitter with the hashtag #TalkAboutItRena or by DM’ing me on Instagram.

If you read many blogs from different blogging platforms on Bloglovin, please feel free to add mine as well!

Until next time, my \Treasures, I bid you a fond adieu.